TO THE MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but all about
"I'm sorry". Love is not about "where are you", but all
about "I'm right here". Love is not about "how could you",
but all about "I understand". Love is not about "I wish you
were", but all about "I'm thankful you are."
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TO THE ENGAGED
In your resolved to go into this perpetual emotional journey
together, remember, the true measure of Compatibility is not the years spent
together, but how good you are for each other. Try as much as possible to work
it out, it's one of the best feeling in life. It's worth it.
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TO THE NOT-SO-SINGLE
Doing emotional "interview" by having numerous
partners in order to pick the most "qualified candidate" does not
work most times. Stick with someone your heart and soul yearn for, not the one
your eyes search for. Love is not about becoming someone else's "perfect
person.” it is about finding someone who helps you become the best person you
can be.
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TO THE "I'M-IN-LOVE"
Love sometimes is not all about happiness, but sacrificing
your happiness for someone else's weaknesses. It won't be smooth sailing just
like the day you both agreed to go into a relationship, so be prepared to make
symbiotic sacrifices for that ultimate goal - marriage. Reduce online
"advertisement" of your "boo", most times it's detrimental,
if things didn't go as planned and as thought, you will be the hardest hit and
you might even be converted to a "case study". Activating "in a
relationship", "engaged" and "being toasted" button on
Facebook might generate little comments and "likes", but will affect
you more if you change the button in the future again to "Single".
Learn to keep important things in your life secret until they are obvious to
others, wait till after marriage, then you can convert your Facebook page to a
photo album, but until then, wait!
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TO THE SINGLES
Love is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it
eludes you. But if you just patiently wait, it will come to you when you least
expected it. Love will give you the best in life and glow your spirit only when
you give it to someone who is really worth it and can reciprocate it. So take
your time and choose wisely.
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TO THOSE SEARCHING
It’s cool to search for your soul mate. Soul mate in this
case doesn’t mean sameness but harmonizing unique different interests and
values. Like a positive and a negative that always attract. A unique Adam and a
unique Eve that attract with harmonizing values. Searching for someone who
thinks, behaves, dresses, eats, drinks, sleeps, dances, walks, reads, feels and
likes all the same things as might work in a Nollywood or Hollywood, but not
exactly in reality because it’s an unhealthy type of relationship that grows
out of unresolved insecurities. When your partner's thoughts, feelings and
behaviours mirror your own, you're validated by the illusion of sameness and
it's a way of avoiding uncertainty within the relationship. Eventually, when
there is a difference of opinion, you feel threatened. Before you know it, you begin
to doubt the relationship, and may even think your partner is a fake. Rather
than kill off your relationship by expecting your partner to think, feel and
behave the same way you do, celebrate the differences and make yourself open to
diversity. When you do that, your relationship becomes an exciting journey of
growth and self-discovery.
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TO THE HEARTBROKEN
Nothing lasts forever. Heartbreaks last as long as you want
it, and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to
survive heartbreaks, but how to learn from them. Though most times, it's
difficult to let go, what will be will be; if you are meant to be together
he/she will surely come back, but if not, there's no better option to choose do
than moving on.
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TO THE NAIVE
The answer isn’t necessarily in reading love stories,
watching love movies and listening to love songs; most of the authors of love books
are either divorced, or having issues with their unions, most of the singers of
love songs are not even in relationships, and most of the actors and actresses
in love movies don't even believe in love because they have either not
experienced it or have been "dealt with" in the past. Therefore don't
believe all you read, listen to or watch. Take my simple advice; grow in love
but don’t stumble, fall in love but don't tumble, be consistent but not too
persistent; better be a desperado than a “desperato”, share and never be
unfair, understand and try not to be too demanding, get hurt, but never keep
the pain.
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TO THE POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with
someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy
with you. Don't be too attached. Don't give your happiness to your lover, give
yourself much joy, your happiness should not be dependent on your partner. The
phrases and statements like "She is the joy of my life", "He is
the reason why I'm breathing", "Without her I'm worthless",
"He is my world" etc are not practical. Nobody can give you better
joy than the one you create for yourself. Nobody is your world, you are your
own world. Yes, love increases your happiness, but the key to your happiness
and joy is in your hands. Don't hold love too tight so that it doesn’t get
choked.
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TO THOSE AFRAID TO PROFESS AND CONFESS LOVE
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even
more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person
you love has no idea how you feel. Tell him/her how you feel, he/she might just
be waiting for you to talk. Nothing stops a woman from approaching the man she
loves but with wisdom and great precaution not being desperate. The world has
gone beyond "rural" emotion. If you love me, tell me. It’s not a bad
idea too, if the reason guys propose is the prior pose of the lady.
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TO THE CHEATS
Behind every untrusting girl is a boy who lied, cheated and
broke his promises to her. Behind every untrusting guy is a girl who toiled
with his heart. I'm not encouraging infidelity, but don't let us be too quick
to judge; all the same, one thing the cheats need to know too is that, they are
not doing anyone any harm but themselves.
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TO THOSE CHANGING PARTNERS
Sometimes within you, you feel justified by changing partners
like clothes just because of few amendable "sins" that you too cannot
even exonerate yourself from. You may think you are still young and beautiful,
but think about it, having a destination and knowing what you want before
boarding a taxi will help in avoiding the situation of changing taxis severally
for flimsy excuses before getting to your destination. Relationships are not
meant to be projects, if you are spending all your time repairing, fixing,
upgrading and changing, please have a second thought. Besides, you are not
getting younger, every minutes of your life counts.
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TO THOSE AFRAID TO INVEST IN LOVE
My friend once told me that a successful man is one that
makes more money than his wife can spend while a successful woman is one that
finds such a man. The truth in this might not be absolute when it stands alone
but the uniqueness of this truth is visible when money sweetens the already
existing love. If love is the garri, trust the water, then money is the sugar
that makes the drinking very pleasurable. Just like business, love itself needs
investment before it can grow. All the hype about "She no want
Designer", "She no want Ferrarri" stuff are pure slogans. Love
without "financial empowerment" no matter how little easily shrinks
with time. So please invest in your partner and you will reap the reward of
your investment. Love alone is not enough, add money to it and see a better
result.
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TO FRIENDS
My wish for you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong,
mature, never-ending, never-changing and ever - abiding in God's love.
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